No more running away from yourself. No more deepening the wound of separation. No more hating the self that dearly needs your tenderness and love. Be willing to stay with what is right here. Be willing to stay with feelings that nudge you to remember.
Become curious about the parts of you that feel cut off, cast out and forgotten. Stay with frustration, emptiness, excitement, sadness, until you witness the root of its coil in you. Inquire at the root of what feeds this disconnection. Make space to witness and hold the small self, she who is scared to feel all that arises within her.
Get to know the parts within that you unconsciously reject. The part shamed into submission. The part hidden away from view. The part of you too raw to bear being seen. The part that shrinks in response to inner criticism. The part that feels so broken, you fear a flood you are unable to surface from.
Feel into all of that. Witness all that moves in and out of you. Allow it to be experienced on the surface. The courage to feel it as a moving, ever changing part of you. An experience within you asking to be acknowledged.
Let your acknowledgment of what is, be the balm that soothes raw edges left behind long ago. See the wound of disconnection and place your hands over it in the now. Forgive the self that abandoned you in order to protect you from life’s pain. Experience yourself as one who can grow the capacity to hold your wounds.
See the wound of separation in all humans. Recognise that your mind is often not your own. It’s not your fault and there is no one to blame. This is where we find ourselves.
Today honour the desire to learn a new way of being. Learn to hold, soothe, allow all that arises in you. A you that chooses aliveness with an understanding that aliveness isn’t selective. We choose all of it, not rejecting the mud and mist for rainbows and sunshine.
When you choose aliveness you choose to hold yourself in raw, real, hard to bear moments of pain as equally as you say yes to joy. You turn toward aliveness in this very moment. The self that feels alive no matter if the texture of life is hard or soft, its sounds are sweet or scratchy, nor colours vibrant or dull. The self that knows the human experience contains all, both, and; love and light, fear and darkness.
Aliveness can be both the bliss and the unbearable. Yet in wholeness you are no longer willing to cut yourself off from the full experience of being human. It is that which you reject in yourself that is asking for your utmost, present moment attention.
Like a small child begging to be seen, do not reject the parts of you that need you most. It is you that can bring all of the disconnected parts back. You can learn to hold yourself. Feel the anger. Feel the rage. Feel the heat in your cheeks as you burn in embarrassment. Feel the isolation. Feel your body tired to its bones.
Welcome every aspect of yourself home. Hug it, soothe it and embrace it. Do so the moment you notice an aspect of yourself asking to be loved. Don’t wait for your schedule to clear. Don’t wait until your children grow older. Don’t wait until your partner is less stressed.
Learn to hold yourself now. Make space for what is arising in you right now.
Notice your mind’s tendencies to run away. Notice and dig in your heels. Find a way to stay. Anchor yourself deep into the earth, feel the support of something greater than your mind as you practice staying with each feeling as it arises.
You deserve this embrace. Gift yourself the space in which to welcome all lost parts of yourself home. Bit by bit. There is no need to go looking for what desires to be healed. Simply slow down, notice what has gone unnoticed in you and as you do, give yourself space to be with it.
This is a pathless path. The one traveled in the present moment. One that doesn’t hold out for a better or fixed version of yourself. Often we hide behind the mask of too busy, too shy, too broken, too embarrassed… failing to see what we believe about ourselves is the wound asking to be healed.
Holding space for my inner most experience didn’t come easy at first, yet it is my chosen way of being in this world. I’ve come to know everything I ever wanted is within me (and you). You can know this when you choose to be present and alive to Life, not rejecting any part for the lure of a quick fix or easier way. Esoteric experiences and energetic shifts are a lovely bonus, though not the destination.
Discover what is most alive in you, what most needs gentle attention and how you might offer kindness to the parts of self shamed into hiding. I offer and share spaces in the community where you can learn to conscious practices to hold yourself in your experience. We come together in meditation, no rules, no false promises. Simply present moment attention and space to be who you are.
In love and appreciation,